We all make mistakes, that’s why I’m here to tell you not to make any mistakes and be as perfect as possible. I’m kidding, I have no idea what I am talking about nor what I am doing. But, I have learned a lot in the past 6 months of living overseas. Talking to various friends and listening to countless stories, I wondered what I could do to make sure I could have the best experience I could make while I’m here. I had a lot of thoughts, and maybe they can help you while you navigate your new life or even your current one.
Make friends with foreigners or people similar to you
I have met people that refused to make friends with other foreigners. I’m telling you that this isn’t the best idea for a myriad of reasons. But I will give you my top 3.
- One, it is silly. You can’t miss out on great people because they aren’t native in your chosen country or share too many similarities with yourself. If anything, that’s more telling of you than them.
- Two, those same people who are similar to you can connect you to other native people in the country! You never know who knows who. Be open about your friend group and find where you fit in! As connecting with each other becomes so much easier in this age, the world gets smaller. Expand your friendship horizons.
- Three, having people around you who share similarities can help you get comfortable in your new environment. I was worried about not having people I could relate to. But I’ve come to have many people with the same sense of humor, the same background, the same hometown, and the same music taste amongst other things. It’s really important to have friends for even the smallest things. Don’t underestimate it!
Make friends who are natives
On the flip side, don’t just talk to people who know your language. It would be a missed opportunity for you. You’re in Japan or another place whose first language isn’t English, so you should try speaking to the natives there. If you plan to talk to people who only know your language, the best option for you would have been to stay home. You can always take the easy way out, but challenge yourself. In Japan, I’ve found that people really appreciate it when you put forth some effort in speaking their language. I’ve heard countless “Nihongo jyouzu,” (Your Japanese is good) while living here, even if I just said, “Konnichiwa,” (Hello). I think I have come to understand why. Many native speakers that I’ve talked to said Japanese isn’t a popular language to learn, so knowing at least a few greetings can make you a few native friends who are willing to teach you more Japanese!
If you plan to talk to people who only know your language, the best option for you would have been to stay home.
Mingle with your coworkers!
It’s understandable when working any other job in Japan or a country other than your own, that many of your coworkers are extremely busy. However, there are ways to get involved with them. Ask people if they need help, crack a joke, bring some candy to the staff room, and go nuts. If you stay to yourself at work, waking up and going to work will become more and more difficult every day. It will be easy to fall into a lonely pit, and that’s the opposite of what I want for you, royalty. Good relationships with your coworkers anywhere make work so much more enjoyable. Sometimes I draw pictures of my coworkers, ask them how their weekend was, or say they have cool shoes. This sets the good mood for the day, and coworkers begin opening up to you after realizing how “Yasashii” (Kind) you are.
Please go outside
I have read stories and even heard from people that they stay in their houses often. Fear settles in, you don’t know a lot of Japanese, you don’t know where to go — Stop thinking about that! It’s a trap! Don’t get caught up in your mind. You will begin feeling lonely much faster if you decide to stay in the house all of the time. Not sure what to do outside? Take a walk, take a trip to a museum or a cafe, join a club, and go anywhere! Try to put your Japanese to the test. There are also many groups to participate in online and offline. Give your social life in Japan a chance, you owe it to yourself. The country is beautiful, you will feel a lot better exploring a place you’ve always wanted to be. Try not to make your overseas experience a regret.
Use the native language even if you think you’re bad
Japanese is a challenging language. But you never get better if you don’t make any mistakes. When you speak Japanese, many people will be appreciative of it. It’s all about putting forth the effort to communicate. When you successfully communicate with someone, no matter how awkward it may be at first, you will feel amazing. This feeling will become addictive. The more you do it, the more your conversations will become fluid. Even if you don’t plan on becoming fluent, it’s always great to try during your time in Japan or any other country you visit.
Being overseas is very scary. I am far away from what I am used to. I can’t go to the Papi store and order a cheesesteak platter, I can’t pet my cat, I can’t go on random day trips with my friends back at home... But I think a lot about what I can do while I am here in Japan. After 6 months of trying these things, my time here has become even more enjoyable. I have made a lot of friends, doing a lot of things I haven’t before, and my Japanese is steadily improving. The same will happen for you if you give your new life overseas a chance.
